An Obit for an Auto: Hoopty Weld-Bailey (née Toyota Camry XLE)
We get some great letters here from folks who've donated their cars, like this one, an obituary for a beloved Camry which was donated to WYPR in Baltimore. May all treasured vehicles get a send off as lovely as this one. Read on....
 
Hoopty Weld-Bailey (1995-2013)
 
Born 1995
Purchased by Ethel as a grad student in 2006
Shuffled off mortal coils September 17th, 2013
 
Hoopty with her proud parents, Ethel and Ted.
 
I. First, some definitions:
 
 
OR this (since the Urban Dictionary apparently fails to satisfy an ongoing feud between the spellings)...
 
 
 
II. Second, Sir Mix-A-Lot's opinion on the matter:
 

 
III. Third, not just ANY hoopty; OUR hoopty!:
 
Hoopty, post "I DO".
 
On our wedding day, our family and friends decorated our hoopty with balloons, Coke cans, and a "Just Married" legend in shaving cream. A particularly hooptyish touch was the fact that the balloons stayed tied to the right passenger side window until they disintegrated, and traces of them still remain (we were too sentimental to untie the ribbons), melted to the passenger door and included gratis in the donation to NPR. A token Coke can also remains in the trunk.
 
A respectable period of time after the wedding, we drove to the hospital in our hoopty to deliver our son Sebastian, and drove him home (at a white-knuckled 11 miles per hour) two days later in the same hoopty.
 
 
IV. Hospice care:
 
For the past 5 months, after being told by the Toyota dealership that she had terminal issues that were "not worth fixing and not worth talking about any further" and that further care would be futile, we still drove her occasionally, with white smoke pouring out the tailpipe, going through one bottle of Dexron transmission fluid daily, known community-wide as "those people with the smoking car," or later on simply as "the Cloud."
 
She will be towed away on our second wedding anniversary, September 17th. Her last wishes reflected that she desired to donate her body to science.
 
May she rest in peace!
 
[She is (barely) survived and (deeply) mourned by] Ethel, Ted and Sebastian